A neutron goes to a bar and ask "how much for a drink?" The bartender answers "for u, no charge" (tbbt)

Why did the chicken cross the moebius strip? ... to get to the same side! (tbbt)

A physicist goes to an ice cream parlour every week and orders an ice cream for himself and offers an ice cream for the empty stool sitting next to him. This goes on for a while until the owner asks him what he is doing.
The man said "well I’m a physicist and Quantum Mechanics teaches us that it is possible for the matter above this stool to spontaneously turn into a beautiful woman who might accept my offer and fall in love with me"
The owner says "well there are a lot of single beautiful woman coming here every day, so why don’t you buy an ice cream for one of them and they might fall in love with you".
And the physicist says "yeah, but what are the odds of that happening" (tbbt)

A farmer has some chickens who don’t lay eggs. So he calls a physicist for help.
The physicist does some calculations and replies,
"I’ve got a solution — but it only works for spherical chickens in a vacuum." (tbbt)

A police officer pulls over Werner Heisenberg for speeding.
The officer says: "Do you know how fast you were going?"
Heisenberg replies: "No, but I know exactly where I am!"
The cop says: "You were doing 90 miles per hour."
Heisenberg says, "Great! Now I’m lost! (tbbt)

Feynman, Einstein and Schrödinger walk into a bar.
Feynman says,
"It appears we're inside a joke."
Einstein replies,
"But only to an observer who saw us walk in simultaneously."
To which Schrödinger says,
"If someone is looking in the window, I'm leaving."